First Trimester Pregnancy: What a Mind F*CK! (and a little of the second trimester)…

Excuse my language, but that’s how I can sum up first trimester pregnancies. If I’m being honest, it’s probably the whole 40 weeks of pregnancy, but especially the first trimester. I’m almost 18 weeks along (and guess what, I started a draft of this blog right after I finished by first trimester and look how great I’ve been at posting it? #MomLife #WorkLIfe #ToddlerandDoglife. 

So how did we get here? Certainly not the ‘conventional” way….just like our first child, we went the IVF route, using one of our frozen embryos. Beginning in November, I started estrogen and progesterone shots for my embryo transfer that was on December 10. For all those people who have those cute onesies that say “Proof Mom and Dad didn’t socially distance,. I  want one that says “Proof Mom and Dad did socially distance. #IVFbaby.”

I have been to every single fertility appointment and OB appointment solo. For the transfer, I had to drive down to Valley Forge for a 3 PM transfer by myself because Jason had to make sure to get Maggie from daycare (he wasn’t allowed inside anyway so I guess it wasn’t a huge deal). Anyway, we found out right before Christmas that I was, with child and while elated, that is when the worrying begins. It also didn’t stop the shots – I had to continue those until January 31 and let me tell you, getting shots nightly in the ass area is not exactly the funnest thing in the world.

Now, I will say I have been slightly less stressed with Baby Number 2 – who we affectionately call Sprout because we aren’t finding out the gender. It’s both easier and harder to be pregnant again – first with Maggie I had some bleeding early on so that freaked me out but turned out to be nothing. So far, I have not had that but I do have some high blood pressure that is being controlled by medication and they are watching that closely because I am “older” now. I definitely have more nausea and fatigue than last time though. This is perhaps due to chasing after a 2 year old while also working full time. Fortunately, I haven’t gotten sick that much, but sometimes the nausea alone is enough to cause issues. 

Sprout doesn’t seem to always like sweets which is a real bummer because I love sweets. Early on, Sprout didn’t seem to like pizza, but I had a little chat with Sprout, and let’s just say, pizza is back on the table. No one messes with pizza. With Maggie, I avoided caffeinated beverages until the third trimester when I took sips of Coke here and there and never ate a deli meat. This time? I’ve already had some Coke and have definitely heated up some lunch meats.  I’m trying to be as careful as possible, but sometimes you just got to give yourself some grace.

But, this brings me to my title. There are days I feel great – like barely pregnant and I’m like holy shit, what is wrong??? Basically, if I don’t feel nauseous, I’m worried that something is wrong. The bump is there, but the worry never quite goes away.

As for what Maggie knows? She knows “sometimes Mommy’s tummy hurts and she has to lay down.” She also saw me from time to time getting shots and would say “Mommy does shots, Daddy helps.” She even takes the meat thermometer and thinks it’s my shots. Heaven only knows what she might be telling her teachers at daycare. I have also told her there is a baby in Mommy’s tummy but I am 100 percent sure she doesn’t get that. As for Tucker, I know he knows, he just chooses to ignore the fact. 

So, we are baby stepping our way to the end of August when Sprout should make his or her arrival. If you want to send good thoughts and/or prayers, that would be greatly appreciated. And as always, I am very mindful that this announcement can trigger some feelings in those who are trying for a baby or have had miscarriages – please know that I am always here to listen and always here to share my fertility story. 

My shots during IVF and 17 weeks along!

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